I went to see a therapist and he said I was delusional. Can you help me? I said. That’s what I’m here for he said, but then he transformed into a dragon and flew away, and I was again alone in my room. Then I realized it really is true that I’m delusional so I went to see another therapist but it turns out I didn’t really and it was all a delusion again. I had to go through ten therapists before I met a real one. Then he said you are delusional, I said i damn well know by now. So we started the appointments but as they were going I wasn’t sure if it was really him charging me 800 a session and fucking my wife. A few years passed anyways and I still had many delusions, I was still seeing dragons and frogs and sticks attached to a burning bridge of a man which goes to a clock watch and many others, so I said to my therapist, how come a couple years passed and you still haven’t fixed most of my delusions? Then he said what do you mean? we’re making great progress. And I said no, we’re not, I still have hundreds of delusions. Then he said no, you only have one - the delusion that you have hundreds of delusions. Cheer up, we’ve got one to go. Anyways we kept going for a few more years and my wife was still getting screwed and so I asked him again, look, are we going to make progress? Then he turned into a dragon. It turned out all of this was a delusion too. I must be real crazy... So I went to a new therapist and he said you’re delusional and I said, forget it.

If time existed before people thought of it can my happiness now exist if I think of it in the future?

If time existed before people thought of it can my girlfriend exist now if I think of her in the future?

Rob went to the zoo and stared at the gorillas for hours waiting for them to turn into humans. He got so tired of it.
You’re the one who invented the word death! Before it I thought my grandfather was taking a long sleep. You son of a bitch, now I wonder whether it is ‘death’ every time my wife sleeps, you asshole.
The person who invented the word shy must have been very awkward when he suggested it.
Asking questions about the nature of humans is pretty stupid if you’re looking for an unbiased opinion.
Since the opposite of bad is good and people being murdered is bad does this mean that murdering people is good?
My doctor asked me if I was satisfied with my brain transplant. I said who the fuck are you?
I don’t have any social skills so I like pretending I’m a mute when I’m around others but I don’t have any acting skills so I look more like a crazy person.

your eyes are beautiful

oh you’re so sweet

...because i’m reflected in them