“nails tied to scarves” as a word combination looks pretty nice, nicer than what it represents. ‘an elephant’s eye impaled by a needle’ is an example of a sentence that looks as good on paper about the same as it looks bad in reality. “sorrow” is a similar example, of a word which is far prettier compared to what sorrow really is.

how old are you?

in what sense?

age.

counting my years as a sperm?

no.

how old are you?

counting negative years too?

yes

14 billion.

Most people use only up to 5 percent of their brain. One of my friend used up 100 percent of his brain. He couldn’t understand anything anymore. Whenever anyone talked to him he couldn’t understand any sentences. unless he specifically heard them before, but that only made it worse because he’d only hear parts of a conversation. Someone asked him if he w so he killed himself. He wanted to write a suicide note but he had no comprehension left.

George wanted to go into therapy to conquer his fear of heights so he could jump from a building to kill himself. As therapy was far too expensive, he decided to adopt a baby instead (which he hoped would grow to be his therapist) and raise them to become his therapist. However, the day he went to pick up his baby at the foster home he had a panic attack because all the babies there were much shorter than he was which made him think that he was standing on a very tall surface (note for people with alzheimers - he had a fear of heights) (note for blind people - you aren’t.) (note for people with dyslexia - good job!) (note for people with 2 seconds to live - adios!)

He ran out of the foster home like a madman or like any person that is running fast and then, not suddenly, but a second after suddenly, a lightning bolt struck him out of nowhere directly in the chest. Luckily that same instant he had a cardiac arrest so the lightning only served to restore his heartbeat back.

I remember the old days when there were only 20 words invented. It was a tough time. Men were racing to invent the word sex far before the word no is invented. Everyone was immortal until one asshole invented the word death. And then a bigger asshole invented the word math.
I went to a hardware store. I said do you have magnets? Yes how many do you want? Just one, the others will come eventually.
Did you know that if you drew a line between the earth and the sun it would be perfectly straight?
I trained my dog to train dogs. The problem is the commands he trained them with are all in dog language so I can’t control them myself.
for a while i thought i grew hair really fast then i realized that i just notice time passage very badly.