Is it a coincidence that a one dimensional elephant looks just like a one dimensional snake?
I have an eye tattoo but no one notices it because it’s on my eye.
I bought a second hand casket. It’s kind of like buying a mystery box. I opened it and I’m not sure who it is. Might be Einstein I really have no idea.
Metson hates the color red. When he realized that his blood was red he puked. Then he felt better because his favorite color was green. His second favorite color was white and it gave him a panic attack when he realized that white is made out of all the colors because that meant it included red. On the other hand, it relieved him because that meant it included green too, but he wasn’t sure whether it included more red or more green so he began ruminating over whether he should still keep white as his second favorite color and the uncertainty drove him so mad that he ended up in a mental institution. All the walls there were white and that drove him mad but since he was already mad before that it drove his madness mad instead and that just got him back to being sane so he was able to escape the asylum. After getting out he decided to just hate all colors equally. He figured that since the one thing he loved most in life was time and since time had no color, there was never any reason for him to like colors in the first place. But even though he was resolute now, all the stress affected him a lot and he began binge drinking. He tried to calm his stress by speaking to himself using unstressed syllables. Then he thought about how when you put enough stress on a rubber band it breaks and becomes loose so he tried that with himself and died horribly.

what do you like most in life, metson?

Time.

you piece of shit.

what?

time killed both my grandparents.

i’m sorry i had no clue.

it’s okay, i forgive you completely, but you disgust me and i still despise you.

are you bipolar?

yes, but only horizontally.

The oldest person alive and his dad were chatting in front of a warm fireplace in their cozy home when suddenly it began to rain.
My friend is blind but not completely; he can still see the color black.
There was an italian restaurant in my neighborhood for house supplies but they were constantly losing money so they got rid of the food and rebranded as a furniture store and then to a chair store and then they made the chairs into toothpicks and then they burned the toothpick and gathered all the ashes and rebranded as cremated relatives figurines and then and then a store for metal then a store for hydrogen then a store for subatomic particles and then they started making money so they could afford to size back up but since the previous route didn’t work so well they went a different route. then a store for... then a store for black holes but that one got a lot of complaints. Mainly that it spaghettified all the customers. But they took advantage of that and turned it into an italian restaurant. Well that one started losing money so they rebranded it to a ...